Since I hadn't seen any movement of much success on OnlyFans since maybe last October, and because I've really struggled
to produce for it, I've really been working on changing the focus on how I approached it. I needed some time to regroup.
I'm not that worried about the small pause since it's not much longer than my normal gaps, and it'll end up with me making
more confident work, but I'd say that a new social media account on Twitter and Tumblr will drop pretty soon.
Both of them are going to be more streamer oriented/integrated and less explicit on social media. That'll stop OF from being
less able to be connected to my other work and more able to post stuff cross platform.
I'm not that excited at the chilling effect that paypros and social media management has had on art in general, and that's very
much related to this dynamic, but it's not the only thing involved with these developments. I do want to be able to connect
these projects together and when they're not at the same general threshold of intensity and tone, then they don't do that the
way I want. To put it in a much more human way, my attitude in my art and writing and streaming is all me while my OnlyFans has
very much been a mishmash of requests. It isn't something I regret, but I'd really like to focus on something where I'm making
stuff I fuck with instead of trying to copy the vibe of others. Prior to now, I honestly just don't know if I knew what I wanted
and what I was doing in a concrete enough way to be able to assert that but now I have a much clearer idea of where I'd like to go.
So that'll look like a new Twitter, the same Bluesky since there's not an algo there that will lock me in. Tumblr, start a Reddit
account for it. I have an Instagram and as far as I know I don't need to spam post to most of those. I can't spend so much time
promoting that way, because it didn't work. I'm mostly on Bluesky for casual posting, I check Twitter for art. The discourse is
completely rancid everywhere so you absolutely cannot bite off more than you can chew. People fight recreationally which I am simply
not there for. Lately I really like spending time in the Discord NullWhere space for just chatting. Bluesky isn't bad for it. I really
like that a lot more. There are times where I really like these spaces, I used to feel really good in them and as long as people
aren't spending their time picking fights they're really nice.
While that's all finicky paperwork oriented stuff - probably stuff I'll pick up on the 4th, which is Monday - the list of stuff
besides that on the to-do is probably photos to have something new to post with, and, shit, I actually forgot while I was sitting
here to type the lit up. I'm probably too tired at this point! Fuck. Well, I also have table top gaming notes to get posted on here.
That's not a rush job or anything but it does essentially open up a new wing of the site which is in line with my desire for what it
should come to be. That also means one or two recipes in full. Once that starts, basically, the the rest of my plain text stuff can
start to get posted but I don't need to do it all at once, just start establishing where I'm doing it. Then sort of standardize my
posting process.
If there's been a delay, that's only because not much has been accomplished.
I'm chronically tired and underrested so it's hard to think complicated things through and I don't have a lot of energy.
There's a lot I ought to be doing, but I really do need to clear through some basic tasks and free up a little breathing room.
At some point here, I need to start a new Tumblr account. One where it's not quite so obvious that I'm trans,
because the site is basically just removing trans women's accounts whenever it seems to notice them.
Honestly I like my old account just as it is, but one that's entirely dedicated to streaming and media I think would have utility.
I don't think it's really unreasonable to want to start with some of this and build a following from that specifically.
Tumblr is a pain for this but it's also perfectly doable. Twitter is actually more hostile since the algo's been tinkered with.
I'm thinking of doing what I did on Bluesky with Twitter as well, despite its hostility.
Before I do that, I'd really like to think it through and be prepared with how I'll proceed though. With Tumblr I could just get wrecked.
With Twitter, I just feel like it's already stagnated, so either way I should do that sooner rather than later though.
We did get a Discord up and running, which was something I had been dragging my feet about because I'm leadership averse.
Like I was not sure that there was a reason for a space where it feels like I would be making myself the center of attention and I understand the irony of that.
But we had already been running into situations where we talked about doing stuff we simply could not do easily elsewhere. Polls, a potential book club, ttrpg discussion for chat...
All of that is stuff you can do elsewhere because there's no shortage of them, but if you want to do it with the Twitch stream chat gals, you need a Twitch stream chat gal place.
There's a way of just accepting that if you put something in a place people will use it how they need to use it and not how you insist which happened immediately.
Since my premise is that I'm adding channels as their needs arise, I'm not worried by that. It's getting used, which is what's important.
We added a food and cooking channel which I think is already a good idea and when we need something, I'll make it. I think I'd like to keep is small for now, just to get used to it.
Right now everything is still messing around with the frustrating things in my life that get in the way of getting stuff fully functional. The more things that have to be done,
the harder it is to think clearly and the longer it takes me to get things in order. The harder it is to think, the more stressed we get, and the harder it is to get moving,
the harder it is to fix things. Really the only solution to this is time.
With the site here, I can immediately see things I can just copy and paste, standardize and so on in order to get more rapid updates. I'll see how other people do it.
But it's not too hard to work out even brute force. Sitemap needs to be the same. Material probably can and should be written in txt documents then pasted into the tags.
Links page should see more updates and cleaning up, but that's page specific. Information closer to useable documents for ttrpgs, notes on those, will get their own page.
I think that some of what's left here is completed essays with additions, ttrpg and world building notes, documentation and how to's including food, misc., theory.
Then we'll get to the weird stuff. We can't do that first, there needs to be scaffolding.
New update on the OnlyFans which is good. I need to get something like 11 more dollars in sales to cash out in ManyVids too, which I want to do because I'll leave the platform.
The owner and management being hostile to girls who work on the site means that there's no good reason to stay and I don't make money there.
My plan for photos is pretty low key but getting a better understanding of my work flow - I can do a lot of small, well done shoots in between working on larger ones.
What I don't want to do is leave people hanging. And this makes it easier to work, maybe counterintuitively, because the stress hanging over my head isn't present.
I can't focus when I'm anxious, the overwhelming desire is to get something out immediately regardless of what I have to do. This way pretty much everyone's happy.
It's been depressing that I've left every writing project on the back burner so long. Maybe this time to cook slow back there means they'll have had time to come together.
I haven't been working on them but they're something I think about. Patreon writing for stuff like Final Fantasy Tactics, Hello Girl, table top games, short fiction.
What I'm going to do here is when that time opens up, I'm not starting on the big stuff but I'll work through some smaller things that will remove them from the stressload.
That's just stuff like the gaming writing, they're not typical reviews just my thoughts. But I don't want to turn stuff out I don't care for.
Well, that's what's going on. It's not exciting except that things moving at all is really good for me. Any work being done is better at this point.
There's been a lot that I've been meaning to do and this is one of those things, I guess, but since I can't quite do the others right now and I can do this, here's the blog update.
I guess this takes us to, what, v. 0.5? I think once this is functioning, then I can say the version is halfway realized. Version 1 is everything that functions in text only formats.
Besides archived information and poking around or links, if there's any reason to check this site out on a semi monthly basis, it's probably the blog which updates the most frequently.
This is long form informal writing, and if I'm working on a project - which I am - informal updates go here. Notes that aren't comprehensive enough to get their own write-ups, etc.
Right now I'm not really writing and I'm not really reading much. That I'm not doing either and I'm also not really watching anything, the only thing I've been doing reliably is streaming,
that's unusual. I'm at least reliably gaming, I'm listening to music pretty regularly, that's a good sign.
Everything else points to a combination of burnout and overwork in other channels, though. I haven't neglected picking up a new book this long since I started grad school at 30.
Please don't ask how long ago that was. I'm a sensitive girl.
Right now, what I'm behind on is probably photo updates. That's all the stuff that goes onto the OnlyFans. February is ideally a three small update month and hopefully March is robust.
Mostly people ask for the same stuff and I try to give them that, but because I've had so little time during periods where photography and prep is possible, it's been dragging.
I've had a Kikuri Hiroi cosplay that's been languishing for god knows how long. I feel BAD. But I just do not have the available time in my personal life. It's nuts.
In order to improve the space I have to work in, a fan helped get me a screen which I'm very excited about but I haven't been able to even get it into the room yet.
The other plan I have is to take advantage of the good foundation for my bed by moving my mattress temporarily against the wall which is very awkward but possibly helpful.
Both of those things and a few other small ideas I've got might make for better photos and videos but I REALLY need a few free days which I haven't had in a long time.
I've been asked by a few friends if I intend to move forward with writing projects I had ideas for, and even plans and notes for. Unfortunately, no.
Or not until circumstances change. If I can't find time for photos I can't find time for anything else. Obligations that already exist place more highly on my to do list.
But it's incredibly depressing sometimes. It shouldn't be that hard but I can't focus in here. It's too much to get into. There are solutions but those need time, too.
Simply, I guess, it's just not a good environment right now, physically. It used to be.
A big goal I've been shooting for and am finally getting is backing up data. I've got the storage I need and then I'll be able to transfer Twitch streams off my PC to free up space.
That lets me film and edit footage again which is great news. I can have backups for music and games. Anyway, this is something I feel very good about. Really very excited.
The bar is low, I take what I can get.
I'm honestly pretty tired, this went on longer than I intended. But no harm, no foul. I'll post again when I have something to say.
Null Blog: You are here.